(1) Towards the Year of Faith: MeAnne Racoma

[As today is the launch of the Year of Faith, we asked our Young Fulltimers to share their faith journey. This is the last of this series. Read their stories in their own words]

“Resist the temptation to drift away from your passion. Develop your potential and focus on your purpose!”

Finally being hired as a Fulltime Missionary for WWP after about 5 long months of immersion and purification, I thought to myself that finally the battle has been won. But 3 months later I realized, it has only just begun.

For 24 years I have never experienced any real hardships. As the youngest in the family, I got everything easy – material things, attention, making friends, even getting into a reputable school and passing a supposedly difficult course. But as the cliché goes, easy come easy go. Because I got everything easy, it was equally that easy for me to quit and let go of things when things get difficult. I was the most indecisive person I know, until now.

This year has been the toughest year for me – I gave up a good paying career, a reckless, carefree lifestyle, lost relationships, and struggled with financial problems, all to say Yes to His call. To date, I have every reason to again quit. Everyone around me says so too – I have to be responsible and practical for the family, and pursue a career that will secure my future. But for the very first time in my life, I found myself unable to let go even though it physically pains me already. The “old me” is screaming inside and the urge to push that QUIT button is becoming stronger and stronger every day. I cannot afford anything I wanted anymore. I have to suffer commuting to work every day. I miss going out with my friends. And more than anything, it hurts to see my parents suffer financial difficulties. I even reached a point when I told God that rather than blessing me at the end of all these, He just make all my problems go away. But He didn’t. And I’m still here. Why? Because I love God. Because for the first time in my life, I learned the true meaning of love – of sustaining everything and anything no matter how hard, confusing and unreasonable things may get; Of continuing to love despite the uncertainty of tomorrow; Of giving your all for Him even though your insecurities pin you down; Of trusting Him not of blessings and promises of a good future, but of a life well-lived according to His purpose. For the first time in my life, I have learned to love. And it is this love that fuels me every day. It doesn’t matter anymore if I fail, because with this Love, I am never losing again.