14/20 The Power of Two

Q3:  LIFE Choices (Choices That Promote Life)

TOPIC 2:  LIFE-GIVING COUPLES

SESSION 1  The Power of Two

 

  1. When a couple marries, they don’t just plan a life together (good for the two of them), but they plan for a family.
  • They must be open to love – in loving each other.
  • They must be open to life – the life of children, and all other aspects of life, too.
  • Parents have a special role:  to accept and serve life, especially to defend the life of the weakest.  (EV#43)

 

  1. The married couple has a power – the power of two.
  • Why two?  Two is stronger than one.  They build each other up.
  • As a couple, they are partners in the mission God has in store for them.
  • As parents, they help a child grow into his/her best self.  Each child needs two parents:  one to be like (the one of the same sex) and one to relate with (so he/she knows how to relate with the opposite sex).
  • The stability of the marriage is dependent on the mutual faithfulness and dependence on each other.

 

  1. But then again, it’s really the power of THREE.
  • It’s the man, the woman and God.
  • If plotted on a triangle, the closer the man and woman are to God, the closer they also become to each other.
  • For the marriage to work, the Christian couple believes in the need to have God involved in it.

 

  1. The Goodness of the Life of Marriage
  • Marriage is a supportive environment for rearing children and protecting women – whether you believe in God or not.  (Archbishops Charles Chaput)
  • Marriage is a permanent and exclusive union.  “One man, one wife, for life!”
    • Marriage is about fidelity to the person you love.  To keep the love and stability of the family, spouses have to keep their relationship exclusive.
    • Healthy Marriages lead to healthy families and the well-being of persons, human society and Christian society.
  • As a mortal, the only way a person can make an unconditional commitment to another is by making it a lifelong commitment.  You cannot give anyone more than this lifetime.  It’s the best that you can give someone.  It’s the most that you have.
  • ONLY the stable, life-long commitment of marriage can truly protect the integrity of the couple’s sexual and emotional intimacy needed to go through life together.  (It’s the safest commitment for being vulnerable and for trust between a couple who loves each other.)
  • While it is TRUE that many marriages do fail, it’s also true that there are many regular people who have fulfilling life-long marriages, passing on to their kids the example of fidelity and service.  (More than what media tells us.)
  • Marriage is as a formal contract.  It is made public to be recognized by the community and so the community can support the marriage.  Public recognition of the marriage is so important that every existing society in the world has laws and customs to protect it.

 

5. God has a plan for marriage.

  • God is the author of marriage.  (Catechism of the Catholic Church #1603)  It was His idea.  He is the author of it.  He gave the proper laws about it.
  • Marriage was meant for the good of the couple and their future family.  (CCC#1660)  Jesus raised marriage to the level of a sacrament.  It is blessed by God Himself and made holy.
  • In the marriage of two Christians, which is therefore a sacrament, God does something special.  He makes their love sacred.  Christ is invited to be present in the marriage.  Christ personally knows and loves the couple.
  • The way spouses can grow in holiness is through sexual pleasure out of love for each other. 
    • The pleasure intensifies their desire for each other. 
    • It takes down the barriers to intimacy.  It sets firmly the ground of TRUST.
    •  (Fears, mistrust go away because the love assures the other that “You can trust me.  You can be your true self with me.”)
    • It takes one out of oneself to do all that is pleasing for the spouse IN LOVE.
    • This opens the way for God to enter and work in the soul of each spouse.
    • Indeed, holiness is the key to the life of the couple.

Resource:  “Marriage:  The Forgotten Vocation” by Dr. Jeff Mirus

 

Discussion Starter:

Share what new insights you got from the discussion on the marriage as life-giving.