“If God really cared for all of us, why doesn’t he make our problems simply disappear? What does He want us to see?” These were some of the things i always asked myself each time I ask myself about my faith. Even when i joined the CFC community my thirst for an answer was always there even if i was an active member. The answer or message i’d get would be
“Through suffering you may be able to see Christ in your life and will be driven closer to him” but i’d always say in my mind “But isn’t it God’s fault that suffering was allowed in this world?” These thought pondered me, until WYD.
On the 4th day of our World Youth Day which was a Friday, we went to to an airfield in Madrid in order to attend the Vigil of the people. Going there wasn’t easy, When we arrived at the 1st station by train, one of our members got left behind at the other station because she strayed from the group. After we regrouped went to the next station and from there walked to the airfield. Now don’t think it was this was en easy task, for the we, the CFC, had to endure 2.5 hours of walking under the sun that was 40 degrees hot along with 1,000,000 people where we could get lost. While enduring the walk we decided to pray the rosary led by kuya Dylan Reyes, though we kept stopping since there were others who’d get left behind and there were so many distrations. When we finished the rosary, the CFC finally arrived at the airfield which looked like a desert that i remember Kuya Ej Aguila saying “Guys aabutin natin ang promise land!” The long journey continued and then one of our sisters fainted and we all went to her aid. When we asked her if she’d like to go to the hospital, she just said to just move on and get to the site where we’ll stay. Eventually we found the the spot after searching for a long time and eventually settled in and thought it was over… but that was only half the battle.
As the sun was setting, kuya Bonn and kuya warned us that it might rain that night so we prepared ourselves for it. Our fear wasn’t that ourstuff would get wet, but that the rain might affect Pope Benedict XVI vigil. Nevertheless we continued to hope that this activity will continue as the sun set.
Night time came and the Pope arrived. The crowd went wild for a while but eventually were told to be silent to start the vigil. During the vigil the strong rain had finally started and people started to rejoice, but i simply observed the pope for i wanted to see what he was going to do. “You should leave, the people here are concerned for you” I kept saying to myself but to my surprise he didn’t leave. Even if the priests were approaching him, even if the rain and wind got stronger, even if the people in the airfield got concerned for him he still wouldn’t go. When the rain stopped i just simply couldn’t believe it… and even cried on what i just witnessed.
I had to come to realize a few things after that night. One it isn’t God’s fault that there is suffering, it was our evironment, whether by nature or by man, and if he decided to remove all suffering he’d have to remove the source.. which is us. Because he loved us so much, he didn’t erase us in existence. The best realization i had however was this. “Though God allows these problems to exist, he hasn’t abandoned all hope on us and was always a witness to the suffering of his people. He sticks to his people to end as long as it is for his greater glory.
After this realization i wish to serve God even further and follow him wherever leads. For only he knows how we can truly achieve joy in our lives and guide us in our suffering…
Be with me Lord and I will Follow