What do Women Want?

(By Chinka Besinga-Sarmiento)

Each year, we commemorate International Women’s Month in the month of March.  CFC FFL is one with the rest of the world by celebrating the beauty and gift that is the woman of God.

No matter where we go, what we do or however we live our life, we will always have to deal with women.  After all, women make up half of the human race!  We all came from women, learn from women, work with women, and live with women.  We cannot escape women.  And because of this, people from across centuries and races live with the age-old question: What do women really want? But no matter how many scholars and experts have attempted to search for it, the ultimate answer to that age-old question continues to elude all of us.

I myself am a woman but I still sometimes find it difficult to understand the women in my life. This article is a small effort to capture at least some understanding of what goes through a woman’s head.  With the help of some of the women from our community, here are 5 things to remember about women – what we really want.  Hopefully we this can help shed some light on this matter.

  • Most of what goes through a woman’s head are caused by how we were made.  Biologically, women were created to be more sensitive, more in touch with our emotions.  This explains why any little thing can be blown out of proportion almost instantly, especially during that special time of the month.  Whether the reason may be our hormones going haywire or not, never ever dismiss what a woman says or how she feels.  All we want is the freedom to express ourselves, to communicate, to be heard and to be empathized with.   The challenge is to look beyond our feelings and emotions and to take time to hear our side of the story.  Sometimes, the silent treatment may work but then there are times when it might make matters worse.  You never know, there might be a deeper and more rational story behind.
  • From time to time, women have the tendency to act up and seem irrational.  We can have conflicting or contradicting views.  The more that we are asked, the more we can cause confusion to the people around us.   Sometimes, we want to do things on our own and act independently.  And then there are times when we act like damsels in distress and expect everyone else to help.  Then again there are times that we say we don’t need help but actually need it, or vice versa.  The truth is, women simply want to feel affirmed and appreciated.  And that all our efforts aren’t put to waste.  If a woman goes out of her way to extend a helping hand, a simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way.
  • It always feels good to know that you are important to someone.  Women are all about that.  When a man goes out of his way to know more about the little details about his wife, mother, sister or daughter, this means she is important enough for him to ‘personalize’ how he treats her.  Never make a woman feel that she is just one of the special people in your life.  Never treat her in the most generic manner.  Each woman is unique.  In fact, each person is unique! Wouldn’t you feel special knowing that someone goes out of his or her way to know your favorites, your likes and dislikes?
  • Men (including my dad and my husband) tend to simplify women’s needs into items on a ‘to-do’ list.  Perhaps it is also because men were created to see things in their most simple form.  They would rather go for the most obvious and less complicated explanation.  I guess, the best thing then to remember, is that women just want to feel loved and be taken cared of.   So remember to look beyond the list of what to do and simply make the women in your life feel special, and that when it comes to their needs, you have everything under control.
  • A woman of prayer is a woman of strength. God created women to possess inner strength.  And the best way for a woman to exercise and build on that strength is to find peace and quiet time, to mediate on life’s blessings and to lift up the many concerns of her loved ones, especially during times of stress and confusion.  Allowing a woman enough personal time for her to reflect on her life, to re-charge and most especially, to pray can be the best gift you can give her.


It might be easy enough for a woman to say these things, and maybe even easier for a man to read them.  The challenge lies in understanding and remembering all of them.  But do not fear.  As long as we are alive, there is hope.   God gave us that freedom to use the rest of our lives to strive to act, think, speak, essentially to be just like Him.  We can never be perfect.  But we can always try.

In the end, we probably will never be able to come up with an ultimate solution as each human being – man or woman, is created uniquely.  The best way then for us to be able to relate to all the women in our lives (and to each other) is to relate with one other in love – modeled after that same merciful, unconditional love that our Creator has for us.  Happy Women’s Month to all my fellow females!