Ya no tengo miedo. I’m not afraid anymore.

(Arvin Serra, Missionary)

Ya no tengo miedo. I’m not afraid anymore.

For the past 5 months, I was assigned to do mission work in Argentina. It’s a beautiful country. I consider it my 2nd home. I love the Argentinos. They are proud and passionate people. It was truly an unforgettable and life-changing experience. God changed me in so many ways, while I was there; He taught me so many things. I was ready to give 3 years of my life serving the Argentinos. I was prepared to endure all the hardships and crosses that the mission in Argentina entails. I wasn’t planning to come home, anytime soon.

But the Lord has other plans in store for me.

I had to go home. Papa was diagnosed to have Stage 4 Cancer of the Colon. The doctor told us that his case is incurable. The most we could do is prolong his life, as long as we could, and to lessen the pain for him, as much as we can. The possibility of him recovering is practically nil.

When my family told me, it was as if my whole world crashed. I felt so helpless, knowing that my father was dying and I could not do anything about it. It was difficult to see Mama and my brothers and sister crying and I could not say anything to take away their and pain.

I was really scared of what of losing Papa. I was very terrified of what will happen to my family. I was truly frightened of the uncertain future. I was so afraid.

But no matter how painful and difficult it is and no matter how scared I got, I could not bring myself to blame God for allowing this to happen to us. I could not get angry at Him, even if I wanted to so badly. After everything that He had done in my life and after the countless blessings and graces that He had given me, why would I stop believing in His faithfulness and providence to me? Why would I believe that I am not worth anything to God all of a sudden?

I know that I have a strong God. I know that my strong God loves me very dearly and that I am very important to Him. I take comfort that in Matthew 10:29-31 it is written,

“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”

I am worth more than many sparrows. Everything will be alright. This is what God wants; I just have to accept it. So be it. I’m not afraid anymore.

I still don’t know what will happen to me and my family. The future still is uncertain. But I will not be afraid anymore. My strong God has my back. Now, more than ever, I need to trust in Him. I know that after all the pain, at the end of all of this, whatever happens, I would love God even more.

And so I declare once again, my God now my strength.

Ya no tengo miedo. I’m not afraid anymore.

1 Comment

  1. Hi Arvin,

    Keep the faith, be strong for your family and share His love and your beliefs in Him with your family…specially your Dad!! Tell him how much you love him while you still can. God is good all the time!!

    Pete Dinglasan

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